Our parents shape our lives in more ways than we can count, but how well do we truly know them? Pretty well I hear you say – after all, we’ve spent much of our lives with them, and they’ve shared in so many of our milestones. But beyond the surface, our parents carry with them a lifetime of experiences, memories, and personal stories that we may have never heard. They’ve navigated the highs and lows of life, witnessed cultural and societal shifts, and faced personal triumphs and challenges.
If you’re lucky enough to still have your parents around, why not start a conversation and ask them about their lives. While it might feel awkward or even uncomfortable at first, it’s so important. We often take for granted that we’ll have more time, but life is unpredictable. When was the last time you really sat down and talked, not just about everyday things, but about the moments that shaped their lives? By asking questions, you not only learn more about who your parents are and what they’ve been through, but you gain a deeper understanding of the decisions they made, the values they hold dear, and what shaped them into the people they’ve become.
Questions to Ask Your Parents
If you think there’s more to discover about your parents—and there almost always is—now is the time to start asking questions. Below are some thoughtful, open-ended questions that can serve as conversation starters. I often ask these questions when I’m interviewing people about their lives and they can help you spark meaningful discussions with your parents, too.
- What was life like when you were a child?
- What did you want to be when you grew up?
- Who was your best friend growing up?
- How did you meet the love of your life?
- How did becoming a parent compare to what you imagined?
- What was the hardest part about raising children? What was the most rewarding?
- In what ways do you think we’re similar, and in what ways are we different?
- What do you consider your greatest achievement in life?
- Do you have any regrets?
- What advice would you give me for the future?
Learning Your Parents’ Life Stories
However, these questions are just the beginning, the real magic lies in the follow-up questions. For instance, if your mum or dad shares a story about their childhood best friend, ask how that relationship shaped them, or whether they stayed in touch over the years. Sometimes, the most meaningful details emerge only when you dig a little deeper.
While there’s no “perfect” set of questions or a definitive script for these conversations, what matters most is starting. Choose one question and see where the conversation takes you. Better yet, consider recording your conversations. This way, you create a tangible record that can be treasured for years to come. You may even decide to go further, compiling their stories into a book. The stories you uncover will not only strengthen your connection but can become a cherished part of your family’s legacy. What are you waiting for?